Parenting

I've been thinking about this topic lately.

Specifically I've been thinking about the complexity of parenting... and how much of that is self-created. How much of it could be easier if we made different decisions? In our house, I think a fair amount of it could absolutely be easier if we made different parenting decisions.

It would be easier to yell or snap at them. It would be easier to not listen to them. It would be easier to tell them how it is going to be. It would be easier to not negotiate with a 3 year old. It would be easier if we could tell them when to sleep and when to wake. It would be easier if we controlled every morsel of food that passed their lips. It would be easier to not respect them. It would be easier to treat them as a kid and not a human being.

But... we intentionally make the decisions we do because it fits into "our" desired parenting approach. Some of which is driven to do things differently than our parents did. Most really is simply to be the parents we want to be. If our job is tougher than it "needs" to be to achieve this, then so be it. We opted to become parents and parents we will be, eternally. Not just until they are 18, 21, 25, 30...

Sometimes I get the feeling that people think that we are making it too difficult. It should be easier than it is. Heck, maybe even that we are making a fair amount of it up? Ya know, because their kids never did x, y, OR z. Which then has me wondering 1) how long has it been since they had 3 children ages 3 and under and more importantly 2) do they let their child imagine, explore, and be a child?

Or the other thought is that our kids are just so challenging and hard to handle or control. Which then concerns me that they are trying to control my child. They do not need to be controlled. Chaos is best avoided through adult involvement and guidance. A certain amount of destruction is going to happen when small children are left to their own devices. I have come to terms with that.

My children need love, guidance, and respect. They need us to listen to them as we expect them to listen to us. Their life should be filled with adventures. They should be able to dream and explore. They should be able to imagine. They should have opportunities to learn things on their own in their own time... no one to hold them back and no one to push them forward. This isn't to say that they don't have rules that they know, understand, and follow.

In my eyes, my children are perfect and represent all the things I could ever hope for. I love them and they love me... and I don't take that for granted. I hope our love and respect holds strong through all the years. I realize that this relationship will be tested over time. Ultimately I hope that as adults they have a level of respect for us that I could never ever dream of.

Bugs

Abby has always had an interest in bugs, butterflies, and worms too come to think of it. She likes to look for them and then investigate what they do. It is amazing to see her go from Princess to Bug Hunter in minutes.

Last night I got home late from work. When I got home they were sitting at the dinner table finishing up their meal. I received an awesome greeting from all the kids. Rather quickly Abby asked me if I wanted a bite of her bugs. Hmmmm... I see what she has on her plate and assume that she is referring to one of the remaining items. I say SURE knowing that I could end up with a cooked carrot and potentially gag.

It was at that point that Carie carefully got my attention and reassured me that I would be eating imaginary bugs. Oh well if they are imaginary bring them on! I shouldn't have been at all surprised that we were eating imaginary bugs... beetles, ants, caterpillars, ladybugs, and butterflies actually. They were peach and strawberry flavored!

Proud Supporters Of Our Peds Office

I've determined that we ought to automatically send $40 a week to our Peds office. Hopefully then whatever medical bills we have through them will be covered AND at the end of a calendar year we would be refunded any balance unused. We could only hope there would be a positive balance.

With last week being the exception, we have been to the doctor’s office up to 3 times a week since Thanksgiving. I think the only other healthy week we had our first ENT appointment. That's right, every stinkin' week since November of 2005.

Tubes were 2 weeks ago today so it only seemed appropriate timing to pay our Ped a visit. We had missed her! She even commented that she had missed our weekly visit.

We knew last night that a trip would be necessary. So this morning we were watching the clock tick tock until it struck 9:00 a.m., the time the office opens and becomes flooded with calls from parents frantically trying to make an appointment. We've always gotten in when/if we felt like we needed to... the same day we call. Today though we wanted to get in ASAP.

The Boy has had a rough few nights. I've been worried that "something" was going on, but we just didn't know what that "something" was until last night. After going to bed as he normally does, he woke with a bad cough. That "something" seemed to hit him all of a sudden. Carie responded to the first waking and first heard it then. I responded to the 2nd waking and heard it again. It's that barky seal sounding cough that makes you feel pain just hearing it. We looked at each other and thought, Croup?

We made it through the night. While he didn't sound good, it didn't seem to warrant a trip to the ER. Today at our Ped's visit, she easily classified it as Croup. Fortunately his chest sounds clear and we just have to wait out the virus.

The upside to all this is that he is super cuddly at night. I hope those cuddles are healing!

Comment Section Wish List...

This is a really fun game that Kristine from Random & Odd came up with. I've not seen the game elsewhere, so she gets all our credit. I hope you have as much fun as we have had.

The Game is: Comment Section Wish List...

Body: Okay, here's the deal. The person above you in the comment section makes a wish ("I wish I had a banana!"), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here's the fun part: Your wish is messed up!

Example:

Bucky Four Eyes----I wish I had a banana.

Hippo----Granted, but the banana tastes bad. I wish I had a ticket to a concert.

Susie----Granted, but it's a Barney concert. I wish....

Water Play

I had Spencer on my hip and Ellie needed to wash her hands.

We walk into the bathroom and the first thing I do is put the toilet seat down and explain to Ellie that Spencer LIKES to play in the toilet water and she needs to remember to keep the lid down when she isn't using it.

I put Spencer down on the floor, set up Ellie's foot stool, and turned on the water for to wash her hands. Ellie decided that she MUST have her special strawberry scented foam soap from the kitchen.

When I returned from the kitchen 15 seconds later, the water was still running in the sink, but Ellie was sitting on the toilet, going potty. And yes, Spencer was playing in the stream of "water"... while Ellie was pottying.

Tinkle, tinkle
Splash, splash

~ Carie

Comment Section Funnies

Not sure everyone will find this funny.... but WE did.

I was upstairs making some hot tea last night and Carie was at the computer. I heard her laughing hysterically. Actually I thought she was still watching the Olympics (instead of pausing and waiting for me). So I thought I was missing a kick ass crash or Johnny Weir. Turned out, she was waiting for me and this is what brightened her day.

This appeared on another blog we frequent. The story goes something like this... Sisters are great! Oh, and they are always right!

One of the many comments read:

"That's why I always wanted a sister. I am the oldest; my brother is two years younger. Six months ago I found out (after 33 years) that he's GAY! I was robbed. He could have told me years ago and I would have had the sister I always wanted. :0)"

Now why can't all our families respond that way? LOL

Let The Craziness Begin!

I swear... I SWEAR... our schedule is growing more out of control by the year. In the past it has generally been our summer schedule. Now craze seems to be bleeding into other seasons.

We've been enjoying some downtime after the Holiday schedule. But soon, it seems, we will be in full swing again. Looks like we better get our rears in gear with any projects we want to complete at home.

It all starts with Easter and just keeps on going.

Easter
Carie's Birthday & The Boy's 1st Birthday
A Weekend Conference (which Carie is resp for part of execution)
Cousin's College Graduation & Grandma's 80th Birthday
Mother's Day
A Free Weekend
Memorial Wknd... Family events & the first of many wedding events
The Girls' 4th Birthday
Pride Weekend
Father’s Day (Friends visiting?)
A Free Weekend (Friends visiting?)
4th of July
Birthdays, Birthdays, Birthdays…
August... whew!

This, my friends, takes us to June 17th... our next "free" weekend… which I now just realized (a week later) that that is Father’s Day weekend. We'll be leaving those last 2 weekends in June open in anticipation of our friends visiting. Unfortunately, they'll only be here one of those weekends... but it will be a great excuse as to why we aren't available the other weekend.

Oh, and my Brother & SIL are building a house which is scheduled to be completed sometime between May 1st and June 30th and I'm sure they wouldn't mind some help.

Then we are upon July where Carie's Dad and 3 of our nieces have birthday's... all a week apart. All 3 nieces are from different families and only one of those siblings plans and communicates with any notice. They are so predictable; I could probably look at a calendar and guess the day of the party. With the other two, I might as well throw darts at a calendar.

I've Been Tagged!

I've been tagged by Casey!

1.What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was 11 months into my marriage (het marriage), fast approaching our first anniversary. We were preparing for our trip to Ireland for the Saint Patrick's Day parade.

This coming October 29th, Carie and I will celebrate 10 years together.

You can figure the rest out.


2.What were you doing 1 year ago?

One year ago we were preparing for the birth of our son, who was born in April. We were attending birthing re-fresher classes and the girls attended a sibling's class.


3. Five snacks you enjoy:

I hope you didn't mean healthy snacks... Dark Chocolate, Edy's Ice Cream, Pringles, Chex Mix, Soda

Okay... so the healthy snacks would be... Grape Tomatoes, Clementines, Nectarines, Apples, Nuts (Peanuts, Almonds, Pistachios), Trail Mix


4. Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

I'm right there with Casey... I know the lyrics but I don’t know the song titles. Generally anything from the 80's. I know I know, I remember being in high school and giving my Dad crap about listening to the oldies.

My recent favorite has to be the 5 little pumpkins song! I love it! We've also been learning a new song for Valentine's. The clean up song rocks... when it works.


5. Five bad habits:

Talk on AIM too much, I don't eat as healthy as I know I should, I've stopped wearing makeup and dress for comfort... and I don't care, I drive "fast" according to the girls', I spend money too easily.


6. Five things you like doing:

Cuddling with the kids, sleeping, chatting on AIM, watching TV, going out to eat... so long as it doesn't involved getting dressed up.


7. Five things you would never wear, buy or get again:

A dress, a skirt, high heels, coffee... no matter how much cream and sugar, a photo printer


8. Five favorite toys:

Our Sienna, DVR (can I list this 5 times?), Computer w/ cable Internet, and hopefully our new digital camera if it ever shows up.


9. Five people I want tagged…

You, You, You, You & YOU... go play!

First Kiss??

Nah... Thank goodness Ellie's teacher was there to step in in the heat of the moment.

What I know... I met the girls' at preschool pickup on Monday. I arrived before Carie and Spencer so I was getting the skinny on the happenings of the day. Oh, and I got the first hugs and kisses which seemingly jarred Ellie's teacher's memory of the mornings events. She shared with me that Ellie and a classmate went to give each other a kiss.

Ms. Susan redirected them and reminded them that we keep our lips to ourselves.

Happy Valentine's Day

Gone are the days of cute smiles. Most of the pics these days are of cute silly faces, unprompted silly faces.














It was work enough to get the girls' in the same picture. It wasn't worth wrangling the boy to be in the shot.

Happy Valentine's Day!

He Speaks

Seems that we are now able to create a "list" of words spoken by Spencer.

As we all know, "mom-mom" was the first real recognizable sound coming from his beautiful lips. A close second would be "bye-bye".

I thought I heard it, but wasn't sure. One of those... it sounds like it to me but I'm his Mom-Mom so I'm supposed to understand Baby Greek. But his Grandma and Aunt confirmed, without prodding even, that he in fact was saying "bye-bye" as we were saying our goodbye's Saturday evening.

The boy speaks, and it is so damn cute!

Two Babies

One would be our Spencer the other would be my parent's dog (a Golden Lab), Jake.

Spencer loved it. Jake didn’t love it so much. Jake was terribly jealous that my Dad was giving attention to someone other than him.

Jake was doing everything he could to draw the attention towards him. Spencer, ambivalent to Jakes motives, loved it even more.

Amazing Changes

I am quite amazed at the changes we have seen in Spencer over the last 24 hours.

Prior to the surgery, he seemed active, alert, and attentive to things going on around him. He could clearly hear us and respond to us. He would communicate with us through his baby chatter and some signs.

I did have concerns that his language wasn't advancing as quickly as it should. Though according to the development screening we do at the Peds office, he was right on target. I think the concerning aspect for us was that it wasn't the pace we have become accustomed to and we knew that the fluid in his ears had to be holding him back.

I think the majority of our concerns were lifted after yesterday's surgery. The changes in his hearing and chatter have been astounding.

He clearly is hearing things he's not heard before. It is amazing to see him take notice in the sound of the dog drinking water and the dog tags clanking against the water dish. Even more amazing is that Spencer and the dog were in two different rooms. Spencer totally stopped what he was doing and curiously looked in the direction of the sound.

His language has exploded. I suspect he was on the cusp of hitting a development milestone in this area, but the tubes most certainly have played a huge role. Spencer can clearly hear his own voice now. It seems that he talks just so he can hear himself. It is beautiful! He's exploring new sounds, sounds much more complex than babababa. If the boy isn't sleeping, he is talking and talking loudly. When he woke at 2 am to eat, he ate and then woke himself with his own talking. It first started with him talking while he was sleeping. Then he was awake and entertaining himself with his talking. I just smiled, cuddled him, and kept rocking. About 45 minutes later, he let himself drift back to sleep.

His most exciting language development yesterday has to be the addition of "mom-mom" and his association of that to me. It will be interesting to see what he ends up calling me. When the girls' were little, I was always Momma. For a while now they go back and forth between Momma and Mom. Carie is still Mommy without question. At this rate, I'm sure he will have that down in no time!

It just feels so great to get this kind of affirmation that we made the right decision.

Recovering

Mommy & Spencer recovering from our very early and long morning.

Ears Ears Ears

Spencer's surgery was this morning. It went really well!

Spencer woke on his own doing this morning. I'm certain he was looking for food rather than a ride in the van, but a ride in the van he got. Amazingly, he was quite okay with that. He seemed really intrigued about our little trip. He seemed to think it was cool that he was going somewhere so early in the morning.

He was allowed to eat all he wanted until 2 am and then water (or juice or gatorade... neither of which are part of his diet) until 4 am, but nothing after that. His routine of late is to wake somewhere between 5 & 6 to nurse. Because of my Momma guilt, I had set my alarm for 1:30 am so I could offer him one last opportunity to nurse. Somewhere around midnight he woke on his own and ate a relatively small amount. Definitely more comfort filling than anything else. I tried to get him to eat more to get him good and full; he didn't want anything to do with that idea. At that moment it was clear to us that it was pointless to wake him to nurse at 1:30. We were reminded, again, that he will only eat when he wants/needs to eat and waking everyone again at 1:30 would only satisfy my guilt. So I turned off my alarm, let myself manage my guilt, and let the boy sleep.

We arrived to the outpatient surgery area at our local Children's Hospital at 6 am, two hours prior to the scheduled surgery. We were greeted and escorted to his room where all the papers were filled out and information was cross checked.

Once all the vitals were taken and his hospital jammies were on we got to go play for a bit in the play area. About 15 minutes later we returned to the room to start prepping for the procedure.

We first spoke with the anesthesiologist who walked us through his part of the procedure. We were pleased to hear that he planned on only using a mask, no IV lines.

Not long after Spencer was given the meds to relax him. We remembered Abby's reaction to those meds from her procedure 2 1/2 years ago. She was old enough to be walking and we could see the effects of the meds in her steps. Spencer isn't yet walking, but we could still see the effects. He was talking up a storm and had a very drunkish style to his speech... very boisterous, slurred, and in abundance.

But before those meds had a chance to take effect, the ENT stopped in to walk through the procedure, his schedule, and he marked Spencer's ears. This was a new one for us. It makes sense and I know this has become part of procedure due to surgeries gone bad. But to see Q's on his ear lobes was kinda funny. Thankfully he put the tube IN his ears and not through his ear lobes. :)

As the medicine did its thing and we waited for time to pass we watched Baby Einstein.



We have many of the videos from the girls' time but Spencer hasn't watched much yet. He was really into it, so we sat and rocked and waited.

At about 7:35 someone came to get him. This was a far different experience this time around. First I think we held it together far better this time given that we've been through it before. Second the staff was a bit more brisk this time, far less coddling of us. I don't have any recollection of them wheeling Abby away on the bed, but Carie remembers them putting her on the bed after they got down the hall. I don't even remember them taking the bed with them. With Spencer, the nurse had me sit him on the bed. I was like... really? You’re kidding, right? There is no way he's going to just sit on this bed. But I did and figured it was then her challenge to get him and the bed to her destination. He sat longer than I expected he would. Who knows how far they made it. With him he had his binkie, a teddy bear, and the TV remote from the hospital room. He latched onto that remote and that is all he cared about so it was going with him.

It was probably around 8:00 when the ENT returned to his room to let us know that all went well. He did say that his ears were bad, very very badly infected with copious amounts of fluid. Because of this he experienced slightly more than normal amounts of bleeding during the procedure. He was able to remove the fluid and put the tubes in place. We'll put drops in his ears over the next four days and hopefully they'll do what we need them to do. We are to also give him his last dose of Omnicef then hopefully we will be antibiotic free for a good long time going forward.

At about 8:15 I was heading to the restroom when they came around the corner with him. It seemed that he returned to us sooner than they anticipated. Though I remember the same holding true with Abby. The nurse carrying him commented on his curiosity and strength. As soon as he woke up he tried crawling off the bed and he was so interested in everything around him. I think he was a little more than the petite nurse could handle. LOL

He looked a little sad and was so happy to see me. I scooped him up and walked back to his room. He was drinking a bottle of water and was very happy to have it. He sucked that dry so Carie filled it up again since he was so interested in that and not nursing. He sucked that dry and I finally got him interested in nursing. He was thrilled to be eating and he dozed off. The saddest part was when he would burp. It must have felt different or hurt or something because he's start crying. He looked so sad. Then he'd settle down until he burped again. He generally doesn't burp that much so I wonder if the anesthesia had something to do with that.

By 9:15 we were loading up in the van and on our way home. He was doing so well. His vitals were all great. He drank tons of water, nursed really well, and it all seemed to agree with him. He was alert. The only thing that seemed to be bothering him was the burping. Carie pulled the van up front and our nurse walked Spencer and I out to the front lobby. He perked up once we got out of that room. It was nice to get some natural light, have a new view, and be doing something other than sitting in a dim room.

We arrive home at about 9:30 where we got to see familiar faces and get down on the ground and move about. After a bit of floor time I took him up to his room where he ate and fell right asleep. On a normal day his morning nap comes at about 9:30, so other than waking extra early we conveniently were back on schedule with a morning nap. He's taking a great nap so we'll see what the rest of the day has in store for us.

Hopefully this is the last of the ear troubles Spencer has for a while. We will know better in a couple of weeks and maybe even before then. Though now that one of Abby's tubes has fallen out she is again experiencing troubles with her ear. It seems to definitely be in the genes!

Beautiful Blues

Two of the eyes that melt my heart.















I can do without the runny nose, but hey... at least it is still clear!

Firsts...

So many firsts all in a day...

The Boy has discovered the joy in playing chase. He thinks it’s so fun when Mommy chases him. It is great fun to watch him get it and encourage it. The giggles are priceless.

He's expanded his language to include ma ma ma ma, among other sounds. It is wonderful to hear the variation. It is wonderful to hear this development despite his ear troubles.

He's also taken interest in walking behind his push car. Today he went across the entire room, several times, all by himself.















Curls...

Abby The Artist

Abby's school folder contained some projects she had worked on. One was this wonderful drawing of Mommy. I love the long legs. :)

















Also included in her folder was a paper showing the development sequence in children's art for ages 2 1/2 to 5.

















Wow! We didn't know we had a budding artist on our hands.

He's Precious

I was showing Ellie Spencer's 9 month pictures and when we came to the one of him riding the little red car (my favorite picture) I said: "Isn't he cute?" Ellie responded with: "He's precious."

It doesn't get any better than that.

~ Carie

Spencer's 9 Months...

already!?!?!?!?

What a wonderful 9 months it has been. So many great memories. Where has the time gone?

9 month stats:
Height 31 inches (>97%)
Weight 26 pounds 5 ounces (>97%)
Head Circumference ?? (90%)

In the past month Spencer has...
Grown 1 1/2 new pearly white teeth (top middle)
Perfected his crawling skills
Climbed anything and everything his height will afford him... dishwasher, stairs, & momma (aka Mt Everest)
Taken interest in walking with our support (its actually quite comical but to avoid future embarrassment I won't say why)
Taken his first steps with the aid of his push car
Begun to tell us he's "all done" by throwing his hands into the air
Learned how to wave
Decided that baby food is for babies, and he's not a baby anymore
Decided that he's not receiving fair and equal treatment unless he is served the exact same thing his sisters' are served at meal times
Begun to test out the usefulness of tantrums
Transitioned from drooling buckets to spitting buckets by perfecting his raspberries
Discovered rhythm... when he hears music he moves his legs to the beat and he's always in sync with the tempo
Recovered from his 3rd ear infection... finally
Developed his 4th ear infection... which is still holding on
Contracted & recovered from RSV
Been scheduled and then re-scheduled for ear tubes (new date Feb 8th)

At his 9m well check today our Pediatrician commented on his non-stop motion. He's always moving. He's very curious and attentive and goes after absolutely everything. Unfortunately everything also goes straight into the mouth. If only he would take such interest in fruit. Holding him and all his bulk is challenging. You definitely have to be on your toes or you could have a baby launching out of your arms or over your shoulder in 0.2 seconds.

I'm excited to report no shots were on the schedule for the 9m well check. I'm even more excited to report that the Ped was on the same page we were in regards to shots given his current medical position. We went in planning on lobbying for a delay in any scheduled shots, had there been. She said that she wouldn't have given any shots today regardless. Our top priority is to make it past next Wednesday. Just really nice to confirm that we were all thinking the same thing.