Good Move

Given the age of our kids and their love for pets, it feels only right to involve them in the selection process.  Given our approach of searching rescue shelters, etc... we aren't involving them in all the little details.  No, that's hard enough on the adults.  On the flip side, it just doesn't feel right showing up at our front door with a new family pet without their involvement.  It would be so much easier to find a littler of pups and let the kids loose.

Carie and I've visited the Humane Society to look at a couple dogs that were of interest to us and mostly to figure out their adoption process.  We were quite surprised to discover that they didn't see it at all necessary for the kids to meet the dog prior to adoption.  I can possibly understand not making it a requirement, but I can't understand not encouraging it.  The counselor made it clear that it wasn't necessary "but if we weren't sure that the kids would be good with the dog" we could put down a sizable non-refundable deposit and they would hold that dog for 4 hours.  I'll add that the adoption center opens at noon, kids get home from school at 4.  If we opted to not adopt that dog our deposit would become a donation.  Quite the contrary, I'm absolutely confident that our 3 kids will be wonderful pet owners.  I'm shocked actually that they would adopt a pet to a family without at least encouraging all family members meeting the pet prior to adoption.

On the flip side, I'm not so sure I want to take 3 young kids to the Humane Society unless we, the adults, have been able to identify a match. If we weren't in the process of selecting a dog to take home, I wouldn't have any qualms taking them over there. I think it would be cool for them to be involved with/support the Humane Society. But we are in the process of selecting a family pet and I fear that they would walk in and they would choose several dogs that they wouldn't be able to leave behind. We're up for adding one pet, not four! I'm trying to be the rationale one here. That's me, the party pooper.

So a few nights ago we did share this news with them and their response was priceless.  They clearly weren't expecting it and they were clearly thrilled.  It's proven to be a very good move on our part to involve them now and not later.  One bonus, I now have Abby to support my attempts at being rationale.  While they are all very excited this has also brought to the surface the raw memories of losing Hobbes and Carmen.

While Hobbes was my dog, my very first pet that I got 19 years ago, he was also very much Abby's dog.  While we added Carmen (a rescue dog) to our family when Carie and I were together pre-kids, Carmen was totally Carie's dog and then became very much Ellie's dog.  At some point in their toddler hood phase the girls somehow decided that Hobbes was Abby's dog and Carmen was Ellie's dog.  I'm sure there's some good science experiment here given that Ellie is totally Carie's clone and Abby is very much like me.

So when their time with us came to an end (Hobbes 3 years ago, Carmen 1 year ago) it was naturally particularly hard on the kids, hardest on the girl who had claimed that pet as her own.  All 3 kids continue to talk about Hobbes and Carmen on occasion.  They all have great memories of them and miss them dearly.  Just a couple of months ago Abby was clearly missing, Hobbes.  One quiet evening she took Carie outside to show her a star that she's decided is Hobbes star.  It was a very good moment!

So while we're trying to contain our excitement over the idea of this new addition, we're balancing memories and aching hearts from those that we've lost.  I'm so glad we made this move and we all have this in between time to have these feelings.

Adding to the Family???

A few years ago we were in a phase where we knew that our two dogs were in the final years of their life.  We didn't know when it would happen, but it was clear that it was sooner in our life time than later. 

At that time while we were very sad to see our very long time family pets go, we (the adults) were ready for the break.  Ready to lift the guilt about not having "enough" time (compared to the attention our pups got pre-kids) to devote to our dogs.  Ready to have less depending on us.  Ready to not have to clean up the backyard.  Ready to not have to deal with surprises brought inside or the inevitable mess (grrrr) that was left behind.  I can't remember a time where I've not had a dog in my life.  I got Hobbes, my very own dog, as a pup when I was 21 and I'm now about to turn (uh um) 40.  Carie and I together got Carmen (known as Carie's dog) from a rescue home several years later.  I think I was ready for a short break.  Oddly Carie didn't grow up with dogs but she was also ready for a break.  After all, we had just made it through (sometimes literally) infancy and toddler hood of twins and a singleton.  Our lives had drastically changed and we were ready to step back a bit.

We lost our last dog, Carmen, just before Halloween last year.  In the first few months after her passing we had no desire to "replace" her.  Not only did we want that break from all of the above, but we wanted time to heal from the passing of both Hobbes and Carmen.  They were both very special pets to our kids!  We didn't want to "replace" her.  We wanted the kids to reflect on them and their lives with us.  Even recently the kids will talk about Hobbes and Carmen.  It's fun to hear them speak of them and their memories.  It's touching when we are asked to go outside to look up into the stars as the kids point out stars that belong to Hobbes & Carmen.  This is just how they've processed it all.  It's been a good and healing 11 months.

In the past several months the kids have started watching a show called Dogs 101 along with other animal shows. We have some serious animal lovers in our house so we weren't surprised.  They love watching and reading anything about cats as well but unfortunately this Momma is highly allergic to them.  My kids are sad that we can't have a cat as a pet!  They are looking forward to the time when they move out and can choose to have a cat at "their" place.  I'm doing my best to brainwash them to never having a cat simply so I can come visit them.  LOL

For now they've enjoyed learning about the different breeds of dogs.  Along the way, unannounced to us, they started creating a list of dogs that would be a great fit for our family and a list of dogs that wouldn't be a great fit for our family.  When we stumbled across this list we got a hearty chuckle.  It was too damn cute!  But I also knew it was a sign.  At some point I mentioned to Carie that I was semi-close to being open to the idea of getting a new dog for our family.  At that time she laughed at me and said that I couldn't be serious.  Seriously?  Training a new dog in our winter months?  I said I was semi-close to even talking about the future possibility of someday being dog owners again.  Key words... talking, future, possibility, someday... all talk not necessarily action.

Then more recently it came up again.  Yeah, I'm still in that place where I'm warming up to the idea.  I'm not opposed to it but I'm not quite yet sold.  AND my one stipulation is that we take our time and do some research to figure out what we really want.  In theory this new pet will be with us for a very long time and we need to find a good match.  At the same time we're not looking for a purebred or anything.  We would very much like to look at the Humane Society and rescue shelters.

I've pointed out that we also need to be realistic in the amount of care a new puppy/dog will require and I've pointed out again our schedule as I've outlined in a previous post.  We need to make sure that we can give this new pet our time!  I'm not saying that it isn't doable... I just want us to really think about this next phase of our lives.  And then of course to absolutely no surprise to Carie, she's going to be the one who bears the brunt of the "work" that comes with such a new addition.  Yes, the kids will be highly involved.  They are at a great age to take on some of those responsibilities.  But I'm not going to kid myself, it will ultimately fall back to Carie to make sure it's all getting done.

Which leads me to my huge surprise that SHE is the one who is obsessively researching dogs, taking quizzes to identify what type of dog would best suit our family, what types of things we should really consider, etc...  SHE is the one obsessed with researching rescue homes.  SHE is  the one glued to the Humane Society's website, pouring over each picture, each story.  Somehow Carie and I have swapped places in life... momentarily.

How long can I hold her off... that's the question!  How long will it be before the kids catch wind of this possibility?

Very First Camp Experience

Sunday morning when we arrived at our Church Camp there were greeters there, stopping the vehicles, welcoming their guests, handing out maps and event details, etc... This was a big day for the camp. It was their big BBQ where everyone was invited in the hopes that they would raise big money to support the camps future efforts.

At that particular time there were two greeters, an older man and woman.  The woman was talking to the car in front of us, a group that we were caravaning with. The man then approached our van to, more than likely, have the same conversation. In the van was Carie (front passenger), myself (driver), and all 3 kids in the back. Both Carie and I were greeted with a very warm welcome. Then his next question, without skipping a beat, was "Are you representing one family or two?"

Now, I know some may take offense to this. We did not.

I guess I look at it this way...
Should he have assumed we were one family unit?

Should he have assumed we were two families?
Should he have been able to tell just by looking at us?

It then became clear that he didn't realize we had 3 kids in the back. With the tinted windows, he hadn't noticed them.  It wasn't until he was confirming how many people were in the vehicle that we had 3 stowaways.  I wonder, would his question had been any different if he had noticed the kids?

Would he have asked the same question to a vehicle with a man and a woman in it?  I don't know.  Again, I don't know that it's safe to assume.  I guess it all boils down to what you are really trying to get out of the exercise. I think the sticking point may be that if he were to assume that a vehicle with a man and a woman in it were one family unit, why ask the vehicle with two women in it?  An excellent question!

I think for me, in this scenario, it all boils down to...

With his warm welcoming nature, the tone of the conversation, and particularly the way he asked the question, it felt quite appropriate.  More so, our answer of "one family" was very well received, expected almost. 

While our particular Church is very welcoming and very open to diversity, not all Churches in our denomination are going to be.  This camp is located out in BFE and this event was for all congregations in the "area"!  For us, it was a solid hour drive.  So imagine the number of congregations this Camp would support.  Even with our "Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors" slogan we all know there's a difference between talking the talk and walking the walk.  Our Church totally walks the walk.

Even SO, I know that individuals within the Church can say some pretty off things.  Somehow we've run into this well meaning gentleman before.  More times than I care to remember, actually.  He sure meant well when we ran into him at a restaurant and he started talking about Abby's accident.  Yet when the words were coming out of his mouth I wanted to cover Abby's ears.  Heck, I wanted to cover my own ears!  And I'm sure he meant well at the BBQ when he approached us to tell us all about how so and so donated $X to pay for this beautiful gazebo that was nearby.  I had already wondered if there was a connection to our Church since we have the same exact gazebo on our property.  Coincidence, I think not.  I just didn't need to know the specifics that he provided.  I'm sure the wonderful person he was speaking of would appreciate that as well.

Bottom line, I think I was honored that the greeter asked.  I keep thinking back to that moment, to that conversation and all I can do is smile.  It's not like he was asking if our meal was all on the same check.

We were truly welcome at camp, as we are, as a family... in BFE Nebraska.  It felt like a safe place for us, for our kids!

Our kids are really going to enjoy this place!

Crossroads

I'm finding myself at a crossroads. The in-between phase when you've just completed a major task (2 actually, come to think of it) that consumed hours upon hours and that next major task (okay, a few of them) that's looming. A weird feeling!

Last night I had our 2nd PTA meeting of the academic year. That was the deadline that I had long procrastinated against and ultimately worked hard to meet. I also held a Room Parent meeting prior to the big meeting, also part of this larger goal/deadline. Both meetings were phenomenal in attendance, participation, support, etc... It was wonderful to distribute all of the materials I had prepared for the meeting and be done with it! We actually ran out of chairs for the PTA meeting, a FIRST in my history with the school. It's nice to see some efforts really paying off!!! It was also nice to use that as an example of WHY I'm asking parents to approach their tasks a particular way. This is gonna be a kick ass year, I just know it!

But that's all in addition to our family time. One thing I'm determined to do (last year and again this year) is to not allow my PTA responsibilities take away from our family time... as much as absolutely possible! I did miss going to the gym with the family last night, but mostly that was just me giving up my workout time. You can see how committed I am! Though I did miss shooting hoops with my boy!

Speaking of family stuff... we're just in the groove. The girls are enjoying their swim practice and looking forward to their first meet. We all enjoyed a full day at our Church Camp this past weekend for the girls' first "Tween Scene" (non)event. The girls were a little miffed about all of us (particularly their brother) being there. This is the first time they've really ever expressed such a concern, but they had every right to raise the question. Once we explained that the overall BBQ was a family event and WE wanted to come to the BBQ and it was just their luck to have such involved and overprotective parents they were all cool with it. For us, it was a family day, a family experience and if they were lucky we would let them come back without us in the (very distant) future.

As luck would have it, they (our leader) didn't really need all the help they had (due to weather and turnout) so we took off and spent 5 hours exploring the area as a family. We all enjoyed a bit of archery... I felt bad when Spencer (& I) overshot the target and the bales of hay, ultimately losing an arrow. The girls got to try their hand at tree climbing, and loved it. They also greatly enjoyed hanging out in the tree boats, particularly while playing with bunny rabbits. We spent forever hanging out with various live animals. Once we discovered that the corn maze would take a solid hour and a half to get through, and recalling the fact that our kids got lost in a much smaller maze just a couple weeks ago, we opted to hold that activity for some future visit. I also, somehow, managed to convince the kids to hold off on a trip out to the pumpkin fields. It was a muddy mess that I was just hoping to avoid. Thankfully they agreed! We had so much fun traipsing around the huge acreage. After 5 hours we still had to practically pull our kids away!

And it wouldn't be FALL without Husker football. We've certainly been enjoying the season thus far. We've enjoyed hosting game day and cheering on our Huskers. When the kids aren't actually watching football they are enjoying a stay at home day and playing with friends.

Ready. Set. GO!

This is the the week that starts the craziness.

For a family that likes to not be over-committed, in this moment it feels like we have sure committed ourselves to A LOT for the long haul.

Sure, we are always on the go. We like to get out and do things and explore things... on a whim! When the calendar starts filling up I start to get overwhelmed. There's a lot less "on a whim" time!

I know a lot of families with way busier schedules than ours. It's not really a competition. We've intentionally avoided signing ourselves, our children, up for that intense schedule. I know it will all work out. I'm actually looking forward to every single element. It's just... cumulatively it kinda freaks me out right now.

So what's going on?

Swim team started this week. The girls are way excited and so are we. But this is a huge commitment! They have very lengthy practices 3x a week. During their practice Carie and I are able to get a good workout in, a bonus. Spencer and I also get some great time to hang out and shoot hoops together, something we really enjoy. Oh and then there's the swim meets that are one weekend (Saturday?) a month. I'm hoping we'll get these details soon!

Spencer starts swim lessons this weekend. He's SO excited because he gets to go up a level. We could have (should have?) taken the easy route and signed him up for the same place A&E are in swim team. But the swim team program is different than the swim lesson program and we REALLY like the place we've been taking lessons for years. The kids love it there and we love it there. So, we went back even though it will make things a little more challenging for the next 8 weeks.

This past weekend we were invited to a BBQ by some friends. It turned into a reunion of sorts. There were quite a few (same sex) families that we used to hang out with more frequently. We hang out with a few of those couples semi-regularly. But someone decided we should ALL get together more often, like we used to. So it looks like monthly events are in our future... we're hosting the next one. This would be optional, but it would be quite a bit of fun and it would be good for all of us.

We also just discovered that our girls are old enough to participate in the "Tween Scene" at our Church. Boy did that surprise us! Us? We have kids old enough? Why yes, yes we do! This group meets once a month for "fun, fellowship and mission projects". The first event (at camp) looks like tons of fun and totally something our kids would enjoy... which we fear will open us up to more events at this camp! But this will be a great family day! So I've added this recurring monthly event to my calendar. Gotta love how easy that is!

It's also (past) time to re-new our family membership to the Rose Theater (performing arts for children and families). Thankfully I'll get it submitted in time that we won't miss the first performance! But it's a GREAT family activity that our kids really enjoy. We'll get to go to 7 performance this season which is nearly 1 performance a month. So I've carefully selected our show dates and times and I'll hope for the best! (If you're keeping track, that's now 3 different events that each take up just 1 weekend day a month... in addition to swim stuff)

Tonight we'll sign up Spencer for early-bird basketball, which also means there's a 2nd round of basketball after that. He's SO looking forward to playing. That schedule is totally unknown. All I know is that we've got another 6 weeks before it starts... I think. Hopefully he'll go right from swimming lessons into basketball. It can be that easy, right?

Oh, and yes I almost forgot. The girls, Abby in particular, really want to join Girl Scouts. I've finally caved and sent an e-mail to the leader today to find out more details. I don't know how in the world we would do this, but I'm looking into it as promised.

Let's not forget that I continue to be the PTA President and I've got quite a few huge events planned for the academic year. It's really a rewarding position in that I get to plan and do things for our school. But it's a heck of a lot of work and far too many parents have no idea what we do for our students. I'm already feeling knee deep (heck, chest deep!) in this area and we're just getting started! There's just so many amazing ideas up in the air and so many things on my plate all at once. Once a few of those things get resolved I'll be good. I just need to make it through November! Thankfully I've got an amazing team of parents that will help pull it off. More events added to the calendar!

Oh and yes, Carie started a PT gig with our school district this academic year so our home schedule has shifted. It's all good, really really good! (Side note, unfortunately no- she's not making anymore $$ than she was before.) She has signed up for some classes through work. They are all really cool classes, they are all free to us, and they all provide credit towards what she does. She's really excited, as am I. Just one more thing added to the calendar.

But this weekend... THIS WEEKEND... we are taking a family trip to our favorite apple orchard. It better not rain! Oh and we'll also be watching college football, of course! And doing swim lessons, swim team & Church.

Labor Day Adventures

Labor Day weekend marks our last weekend of activity free-ness. That is... the final weekend before we begin running all over to get kids from point A to point B several times a week. Oddly though, it's a routine we are looking forward to.

While it was still busy (seriously though, when isn't it?), it was relaxing still the same.

The weekend got started a little early for us and I didn't waste much time getting starting on my mission. I was determined to (deep) clean at least a portion of our house. Thanks to Carie's hard work, our home is most often "clean" but there are just those rare tasks that often don't get attention or often go unnoticed. Well, I was starting to notice them and it was driving me nuts! What a great weekend to tackle such tasks. We could devote some of the weekend to cleaning and still have an extra day for fun! So I got a good start Friday afternoon/evening and then the plan was to continue our cleaning effort on Saturday morning. We didn't want to spend the entire day cleaning. But a good couple hours of solid elbow grease by all members of our family would certainly do wonders. Well, we (I) just kept going and going and going. One task lead into another. I'm sure Carie wasn't the least bit surprised! The kids were less than thrilled from the get go and a couple of them were less than helpful. But they enjoyed hanging out at home all the same. Abby was our most incredible helper, eager even! She had such a great attitude and she really made a difference in what we were able to accomplish. For all that, she earned some unexpected dough! That certainly drew some attention. :)

Saturday evening some friends came over to enjoy dinner and some good ol Husker football. This was a day we've all been looking forward to. It was great fun to watch the game with our friends and the kids had a blast hanging out and playing. Score for everyone!!!

After a late night, Sunday morning was pretty slow going. We were all up in time to make it to Church but opted to veg out instead. We did make it out for a yummy breakfast at Bruegger's. We're loving that the kids have become Bruegger's fans! That afternoon Ellie had a birthday party to go to so we opted to stick close to home, veg out, and have a stay at home day. The kids love stay at home days! That night Abby and I headed to a late showing of Nanny McPhee Returns. I figured it wasn't a school night and the girl is most often still awake at 10:30 anyways, so why not? She loved it! I think I just found my "movie buddy"!

We had big plans for Monday. All along we had planned on going to our favorite apple orchard. We would certainly pick apples, hopefully peaches, and possibly raspberries. Heck, we may have even made a trip out to the pumpkin patch! We would have certainly done the corn maze, visited the butterfly garden, and climbed the mounds of hay bales. I don't know why, but late Sunday afternoon I decided to check their hours and confirm that they were open only to find out that they are closed every Monday. Even more specifically, Labor Day Monday. Huge bummer! But I was oh so grateful that I checked before we made the long journey.

So we scrambled to come up with a plan B. Instead of risking our experience at a new orchard (after being so pumped up about visiting our favorite), we opted to make one last visit to the Lincoln Children's Zoo before they closed for the season. In the end this turned out to be an excellent choice as we discovered our favorite exhibit, the butterfly pavilion, would be closed after Labor Day. So we enjoyed a good long visit at the zoo and particularly enjoyed a good long visit in the butterfly pavilion.

After a full day at the zoo we headed back to Omaha just in time to hang out with some friends for a BBQ. Before we arrived I was tired and feeling ready to just head home after our long day. But I'm so glad we went! There were a lot more people there than we anticipated and we knew a lot more people than we anticipated. It was great fun for all of us! We got to sit back and chat with friends while the kids ran wild with their friends. I think at one point we counted 6 couples (2-mom families) and 12 kids ages 3ish - 9ish plus a couple other families that we didn't know.

As we were sitting outdoors enjoying each other's company we were also enjoying the cool front that had come through. While it was getting really dang chilly to be sitting outdoors without proper layers to keep warm, it was so nice to feel that fall weather come through. It was a good kinda cold! Though as soon as we got home we turned on our heated mattress pads! After getting Abby all set for her "star of the week" and getting the kids through their bedtime routine, we climbed into bed and enjoyed the heat! I just wish we could open up the house. Poor Ellie's allergies have gotten the better of her. So until the pollen levels ease up, we'll keep the house closed up in the hopes that it helps.