We Were Due

It feels like we've had a great winter in the illness area... knock on some real wood! So I guess we were due for something.

I took Ellie in to our urgent care on Sunday, and I'm glad I did. Well, except for the fact that another family came in right after us and their infant son was all broke out in some nasty rash. Poor kid! I really felt for him and his parents. Clearly the parents hit their wall and were ready for it to be over. The mom was all “I have a deductible? Okay! I don’t care what it is, we need help!” But, if it was contagious, I could really do without our household coming down with it thankyouverymuch!

The verdict was a raging double ear infection. The doc didn't have to look long and no reason to look twice. This was absolutely no surprise to us given her nasty nose and drainage going on... and her mood, oh her mood, over the past week. But oddly, she has no other symptoms! We've asked her repeatedly throughout the week if anything hurt and when she said no we would specifically ask if her ears were bothering her. Again we got a no. Our kids never have fevers or any of the classic signs that come with ear infections. Add to that, she's been eating everything in sight recently. The girls also have a really high pain tolerance so by the time they tell us their ears hurt, it has gotten pretty nasty. Sure enough, this was the case on Sunday.

Sunday night when we got home Abby noted that her ear now hurt because (in the past 45 minutes) she shared her drink with Ellie. It was really framed as... I must be sick because I've shared Ellie's germs. It wasn't ever a... mom, my ear hurts thing. It also had been a long day and everyone was tired, ready to be home and in bed. Then again Tuesday morning Abby mentioned that her ear hurt. So off to the Ped they went and sure enough, double ear infection.

When Carie went in with Abby on Tuesday the receptionist commented on how they hadn't seen us in a long time. Carie joked that we were just into the Urgent Care (same office - different staff) with Ellie on Sunday, now Abby on Tuesday, surely we'll be back with Spencer on Thursday! I hope that isn't the case!

Our Ped also did a double take when she saw Spencer. He's grown so much!

We'll be following up in a couple of weeks with both of them because clearly they can't accurately tell us how their ears are doing... until it becomes really bad. That will also be a great time to review their overall allergy, sinus and ear history. Oh and their growth! Abby weighed in at 45lbs and Ellie at 47lbs. I’m hoping that is up from their previous measurements! We shall compare notes and discuss.

Sketchy Memory

Thanks for asking for an update Shannon!

Grandma seems to be doing well. We visited with her on Sunday and had a really good visit. The kids really enjoy going to see her and I think she really enjoys seeing them. They had just gotten new little Easter trinket/toys that they were playing with and they pretty much entertained the whole (small!!!) family area. The other patients seem to really enjoy the small people who visit.

Since we were in town we decided that we would take the kids to the Circus. We had missed the one local to us and the girls had expressed interest in going. This would be their first circus experience! So after visiting with Grandma we headed downtown. After the show Spencer really wanted to go back and see Great Grandma. That was all he could talk about once we got back to the van. Every time we've been to visit and leave he begs to go back to visit her again. Some days we do plan multiple visits, but not this day. We had to convince him that it was her bedtime and we wouldn't want to wake her. It took some serious convincing! Not to mention, we really needed to get (a late) dinner and get home ourselves.

Grandma continues to make progress. We'll likely know more after the meeting with the staff tomorrow. She is participating in her therapy, which is great. She's eating again and able to feed herself. They are able to get her in a wheel chair and we are able to get her out of her room to visit with her. Even better, she's able to hold a conversation with us. There was a time when I wasn't sure she would be able to do that again.

The trick with the conversations though is figuring out where her mind is. It is pretty easy to go with the flow. Because of our history, we know what or who she is talking about. It mostly all makes sense but it isn't always relevant to current happenings or she'll blend the past and present. Just recently she told my mom and aunt "What would you two do without me?" Grandma loves genealogy and she has immense knowledge about who is who and how everyone is connected. I can't keep up with her!

She can tell you where she is at but I believe there is still some level of confusion. Just last night she was able to tell my mom where she was (name of the place) but she thought she was in her hometown and certain people were waiting at her house for her to come home. In reality, she is still in my parent's home town, I'm fairly certain that at least one of the people she mentioned passed away several years ago, and she likely won't be going home anytime soon.

Last weekend she thought the other patients/residents were Carie's family and we were there to visit them. She's visited with Carie's small family many times and knows who they are. I don't think she fully grasps that she's one of many patients at this facility.

Initially, after her sudden turnaround, she was focused on Christmas and I'm not convinced it was the most recent Christmas. She was worried about how much dressing and fruit salad she needed to make. At some point we then talked about upcoming birthdays and how we celebrate her birthday and Spencer's birthday together. So now she's worried about making birthday cakes. We tried convincing her to not worry about it and how we would simply love it if she was well enough to be there... we would take care of the cake! She then went on a tangent about making my brother a birthday cake and told him she was going to make him one. His birthday was a few months ago.

This weekend she brought up her parents and their farm, all of which has been gone for years. She talked about taking our kids to visit them at the farm.

But then she'll ask questions about really relevant current events and it blows my mind. So I believe we are still on the "time will tell" plan.

Hello Spring

We welcomed the first day of spring just this past Friday. The weekend graced us with beautiful weather with the opportunity to picnic in the park and crank out a large amount of yard cleanup. Add swimming lessons and that was our Saturday.

Then Monday rolls around and in rolls Tornado's. I managed to leave work a few minutes early; just in time to hear the sirens sounding as I pulled into our driveway. The wall cloud was clearly visible and definitely heading our way. I was happy to be home!

We gathered flashlights and hunkered down in our family room and sent the kids to the adjacent play room (safest place to be). We were glued to the weather coverage to see it all play out. Okay, so there were a couple of times where we stepped outside to see what was really going on. The clouds, the lightening, the constant low rumbles were incredible. If it didn't create such damage, it would really be beautiful.

Thankfully, we were spared. But the outcome could have easily been different. The high winds and hail caused some damage just blocks to the west of us. Thankfully the tornado didn't touch down in the metro area. Other surrounding areas weren't as lucky and the stories are devastating.

The scary thing is that in our area this storm seemed to track similarly to the tornado's that did touch down last year. What will this tornado season have in store for us?

Breakthrough

On Monday of this week Grandma was moved from the hospital to a rehab center. It was just the next step in this process of waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting. It didn't seem that her condition had improved; in fact she seemed to have declined. She had declined drastically from last Saturday into Sunday and then appeared to take small declines throughout the week. Her alertness and cognitive ability has been so sketchy.

Last night we went to Lincoln to visit her. Going in we were told that she had a good day. But I continue to have to keep in mind... a "good day" considering what she's been through. One of the toughest things in all this is that her life has drastically changed. It is hard to witness her going from a completely independent adult to where she's at now in such a short time. The unknown is where she'll be at the end of this road. A light that is really hard to see.

Last night, after rousing her and talking to her for a while I could tell that she knew we were there. She held our hands and responded in her own way. I even got her to raise her eyebrows at me. If only I could remember what I said to get such a response! Then it was time to get her settled for the night, which seemed to agitate her. We then said goodnight and headed home. It was a good visit and I'm glad we went. But it still left feeling like she had declined from our prior visit.

Then this morning, completely out of the blue, we get good news. News that gives us hope. Her responsiveness has changed dramatically. The sudden change has surprised everyone. She even remembered our visit from last night. My SIL (who works there) told her that she sure gave us all a scare. I guess her response was "I know it's the pits getting old"... or something along those lines. She was talking about other random things that independently related to her life but didn't make much sense all put together. But hey, words are coming out of her mouth and they are semi understandable. She can think it is 2001 (as she did last Friday night) for all I care. She’s at least in the right century, right?

I hope and pray that this is a stable step in the right direction. I hope it isn't a fleeting moment where she returns to her prior state just as quickly as she came out of it.

Touch & Go

That sums up the weekend and where we are at with Grandma. Some good times, some really really hard times. While you try and focus on the good times, the hard times are really scary. It's amazing the difference an hour can make. Only time will tell.

Another Reason

Another reason we love our kindergarten teachers...

This week we celebrated NE Teacher Appreciation Day. The official day was Tuesday, but we seem to do something every day of the week for our teachers.

Today's event was a car wash. A car wash was offered to all the teachers. All they had to do was put the tag in their car to let us know that they did want their car washed.

So Carie and Spencer went up to help. I've been up there so much with other stuff that I needed to sit this one out. It sounds like they had a good turnout of volunteers and in about 2 hours they hand washed and dried 29 cars. Thank goodness the weather was generous to us today!

When they showed up there were kids out at lunch recess and one of the K teachers was out monitoring. She saw Carie and Spencer and motioned for them to go talk to her. She asked Carie how long they might be there and Carie didn't really know... probably a few hours. She then told Carie that if they were still there when K went out for recess at 1:30 that Spencer should come have recess with them!

So 1:30 rolls around and they are still there. Mrs. P. offers to take Spencer to recess and he decides that is an okay idea. About the time recess is over they are wrapping up with the car washing. Nice timing! Mrs. C. brings Spencer back and comments about how great he did and how he just blended right in. Mrs. F. at some point commented similarly. Basically they were thrilled to come have him play with the kids. I'm sure Spencer thought that was more fun than washing cars! I'm sure Carie appreciated the break! But how cool of them to even offer to do that!

Yes... he blends right in. He knows the teachers. He knows a few of the current kindergarteners. But physically, no one would know that he wasn't a kindergartener! The thing is he is a solid 1 1/2 years younger (at minimum based on the age cutoff) and as much as 2 1/2 years younger than the current group of kindergarteners! He has one more year of preschool ahead of him.

After taking care of stuff up at school, they were off to wash up our own van and fuel it up. Hopefully they can still fit in a nap for Spencer. Then it sounds like we are going to head to Lincoln to check in on Grandma.

Turning Point

Yesterday afternoon I got the call that no one wants to get.

One of my grandmother's good friends had been worried about her. She wasn't able to get in contact with her so she went to grandma's house and found her in need of medical attention. They called an ambulance and grandma was on her way to the hospital. My folks raced out of town and were on their way to be with her. We were told to sit tight and they would call just as soon as they got there. Dad must have made good time. It was rush hour and they still made it there in 45 minutes. Then add on another 45 minutes for us if we were to go.

After a few tests/scans they decided that it was more than the small town hospital was up to dealing with. They opted to transfer her to Lincoln. I have to believe my mom had a little something to do with the transfer... given that she has been a nurse in that Lincoln hospital for (I'd guess) 35+ years.

Again we were told to wait. Thankfully grandma had finally recognized my parents when they were reunited in Lincoln. But with the transfer, the small space in the emergency room, and all the tests they were trying to do, it was best for everyone for us to hang tight.

So now we wait while they try to put the piece of the puzzle together. The ultimate question... what happened first.

Grandma will turn 83 this coming May.

It Is Making More Sense

If that is possible!

We had parent teacher conferences at GBH (a private preschool) with Spencer's teacher (Mrs. W.) this morning. We had a fantastic visit regarding Spencer's classroom experience. He really loves his preschool time. Every morning he asks if it is a preschool day and he is bummed when it isn't. He and Mrs. W. have a special connection!

Then she mentioned her recent conversation and experience with "Miss Debbie"... and it all makes a little more sense now.

And because I’m a visual person...

Basically... all 3 of these teachers have positively impacted our lives and in some way all have come to know one another. Whether it be while watching their sons play ball, their past professional experience, or recently meeting for the first time at a Bunco gathering.

The crazy thing is the timing of all these connections and conversations. No one knew of our plans or hopes for the coming year. But somehow all these conversations are coming up and they haven't been initiated by us. But they are all leading us in the direction we hope to be. Only time will tell!

Regardless of how it turns out, we'll be pleased! Either way, we have secured a great preschool option for next year.

It's All Coming Together

There have been some random and amazing conversations recently with a variety of education folks. All the conversations are independent of one another and none of them have been initiated by us. But it is amazing how they all end up in the same direction and end up involving the folks in other conversations. Confusing, I know!

Primary topics of discussion... 1) preschool and 2) what Carie will do when Spencer starts kindergarten.

With preschool, we have already enrolled Spencer in the same location he is currently attending. Enrollment started a good month ago and if we wanted a spot we needed to get our info in ASAP. We've had a fantastic experience there and Spencer absolutely adores Mrs. W. and she absolutely adores him! They really have a special connection. He is at a point where he really would love to go to preschool more than twice a week.

We would love for him to go back to this preschool for his 2nd year, even knowing that he would have a different teacher. BUT... there is another opportunity that we are hoping for and would love to take that opportunity if it becomes an option. Our names are "on the list" and now we just wait. The difficulty is that there are very few spots!

Oddly, just this week the K teachers had asked about this as well. Given his size, they couldn't remember if he had one more year or not before they get him for K. Before Carie could even share our plans they mentioned that it would be so awesome if he could get in with "Miss Debbie" (or even "Miss Susan")... and how we should avoid another particular option. It was so confirming to hear as this is already the plan we are trying to execute.

Then the next day Carie was picking up Spencer from his classroom and Mrs. W. mentioned how he had a particularly great day. Then she mentions that she ran into Miss Debbie the other day (doesn't sound like it happens often) and our family happened to come up in their conversation. Mrs. W. didn't even know that we knew Miss Debbie, that was somehow discovered when they were talking about Mrs. P., one of our favorite K teachers. What a crazy circle of connections!

Miss Debbie had no idea that Mrs. W. had Spencer in her class. Miss Debbie was all "well, I was supposed to have Spencer in my class!" Carie then shared with Mrs. W. our intent to try to get Spencer into Miss Debbie's class. She was so pleased to hear this and she thought that he would be a fantastic addition to her class. Wouldn't it be awesome if Mrs. W. and Miss Debbie ran into each other again in the near future!?!?! But I suppose Miss Debbie will know soon enough that we are looking for a spot in her class. In just 7 short weeks we'll get to see them again. It has been so long!

Regardless of how all this turns out, we are very confident that either preschool option will be wonderful. It feels odd that this will be the last preschool experience for us!

Then... as part the conversation with the K teachers they got to talking about Carie's plans for the following year. It was a very positive and uplifting conversation for Carie and it very much validated her thoughts. Just one more full academic year and all of our small people will be in school full time. How in the world did that happen?

Manipulation

Because I’m in that kind of mood.

Because I far too frequently wonder if parents confuse manipulation with brilliance, intelligence, and plain ol being "smart". In this day and age are we so focused on how brilliant or intelligent our kids are that we lose sight of the underlying behavior?

To me, if a child can manipulate a situation to totally benefit them and take advantage of someone else, that is not intelligence or brilliance. And if the parent thinks that the child has made a smart decision, the child has successfully pulled one over on you. Gee, do you think the child will repeat that behavior? Do you think your reward system is working? How does it feel to be manipulated? Oh wait! You don’t think you are! Does it make it okay if the manipulative child then in turn shares their bounty? Are they then viewed as giving or thoughtful?

Yes... intelligence does involve manipulation... as I just discovered in the definition below. But to me the line is crossed when the manipulation of the rules or system is strictly for their personal gain and directly undermines the purpose of the system that they are so brilliantly manipulating. Because, you know, they are intelligent that way.

Yeah - it makes sense, read it again.

Manipulation
2 b: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage
3: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose

Intelligence
1 a (1): the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations (2): the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests) 3: the act of understanding

Brilliant
2 b: distinguished by unusual mental keenness or alertness

Do our kids manipulate us? Heck yeah. All kids do to some degree! Are we aware of it? Most of the time I think we are. Do we call them on it? Every single time!

Do we think they are brilliant? Of course! I mean really, don't most parents think their kids are brilliant? But it isn't those manipulative moments that define their intelligence... at least not in our family.

What defines your child’s brilliance?