The Mom Insinct
Last week Spencer went to what Ellie called "preschool roundup".
Spencer will go to preschool next fall, that is a given. Where he will go was still up in the air. We had registered him at one location and we were looking into a second location. The second location was the program that Abby & Ellie went through when they were 3. It was an incredible program and we'd love for Spencer to have the same opportunity. But to do so they have to go through an interview/screening process and get asked to return as a peer model.
We had no idea if Spencer would be selected or not, but we thought we'd give it a shot. Things have changed since Abby & Ellie's time. The teachers we had gotten to know had moved to another school (within the district). We knew they had moved and we were encouraged to send Spencer their way. There was now only one class at our "home school". There is a new set of teachers that we don't know, which is okay. And this year the forms didn't allow you to select your top school choices, they automatically assigned you to your home school.
When Abby & Ellie went through the interview process there were a lot of kids there. There were an amazing amount of kids for just two spots per class. Last week, there were only 4 kids and they were looking for two 3yo's and two 4yo's. It perplexes me why there were so few kids. Yeah, there are 3 fewer classes, but Carie and I agreed that even with that consideration there were significantly fewer kids there for "preschool roundup".
But it was clear that one of the (nearly) 3yo's wouldn't be asked to return as a peer model. It might very well be Spencer, I don't know. At pickup, after their 1 hour of preschool, we were told that they would call that afternoon.
That morning at drop off Carie discovered that the 4yo had been asked to return (an uncommon practice) as a 4yr old peer model. That 4yo has a younger sibling who is now interviewing for the 3yo program. They also have an older sibling who is in Ellie's class. Seems like a no brainer to me. That is one spot gone, one remaining.
But then I'm thinking how cool it would be if Spencer were asked to not only be in the 3yr program but also asked to return for the 4yr old program. How lucky would he/we be to be able to be in this program for his entire preschool experience!?!? I tried reigning in my big plans. After all, he first needed to be selected for the 3yr program.
The call came later in the afternoon. He wasn't selected. While that was a huge bummer, the vague reasons given didn't seem to align with what we know of our boy. Of course we stewed about it a bit. Of course we tried to blame ourselves for his lack of "readiness". What did we do wrong? Our conclusion was nothing. Why do we have apply blame? We were still struggling with the alignment of their reasoning and our gut feelings. We couldn't make them jive. Our mom instincts were raising red flags and saying no way.
Then yesterday afternoon I was at school picking up the girls from club. While I was there I was talking with some of the parents. One parent had, what appeared to be, a set of twins with her. She also has a son in Abby's class. I didn't know that she had 2 1/2 year old twins. I'm sure I've seen her with one of the younger boys before, but not both. She happened to volunteer to me that one of the boy's will qualify for services to be in the 3yr old preschool program next year and the other boy has been asked to be a peer for that class. Well, there ya go. That would be the second - of two - spots!
Now, I know nothing about these boys. Nothing at all. I was with them for all of 10-15 minutes and I'm probably mostly remembering the boy who will qualify for services more than the other boy. But, come on. Spencer isn't ready? We aren't 1st time parents. We've been through this before. Carie and I both think that Spencer is far more ready and far more fits the personality that they are looking for in a peer model than Abby & Ellie ever were. That isn't to say that they didn't do great. But now we are (a bit) wiser.
I was livid, to say the least. Why even go through the motions? And most of all, why not be honest with us? It is totally possible that they feel he "isn't ready". It is entirely possible that the two that were selected are more qualified than Spencer. Entirely possible. It could be that they just feel that the two other kids would be the best fit for their class next year. I can accept that.
But with all of this other information at hand I'm have a really hard time trusting them. Why not just be honest? I'm sure there are many other PC statements that they could use that wouldn't indicate that a child is lacking in some area.
I called the coordinator this morning. I wasn't as clear and confident as I would have liked to have been. She didn't even have the information from the schools yet. I'm not even sure she has any involvement or input in the process. But our information is now being forwarded to the individuals I want it to be forwarded to.
If we do choose to apply for next year, as we were encouraged to do, I think it is possible that we'll consider requesting a specific school. We had an awesome experience with those teachers and after talking with our current K teachers, those preschool teachers are highly praised. And I know that we can trust them.
Spencer will go to preschool next fall, that is a given. Where he will go was still up in the air. We had registered him at one location and we were looking into a second location. The second location was the program that Abby & Ellie went through when they were 3. It was an incredible program and we'd love for Spencer to have the same opportunity. But to do so they have to go through an interview/screening process and get asked to return as a peer model.
We had no idea if Spencer would be selected or not, but we thought we'd give it a shot. Things have changed since Abby & Ellie's time. The teachers we had gotten to know had moved to another school (within the district). We knew they had moved and we were encouraged to send Spencer their way. There was now only one class at our "home school". There is a new set of teachers that we don't know, which is okay. And this year the forms didn't allow you to select your top school choices, they automatically assigned you to your home school.
When Abby & Ellie went through the interview process there were a lot of kids there. There were an amazing amount of kids for just two spots per class. Last week, there were only 4 kids and they were looking for two 3yo's and two 4yo's. It perplexes me why there were so few kids. Yeah, there are 3 fewer classes, but Carie and I agreed that even with that consideration there were significantly fewer kids there for "preschool roundup".
But it was clear that one of the (nearly) 3yo's wouldn't be asked to return as a peer model. It might very well be Spencer, I don't know. At pickup, after their 1 hour of preschool, we were told that they would call that afternoon.
That morning at drop off Carie discovered that the 4yo had been asked to return (an uncommon practice) as a 4yr old peer model. That 4yo has a younger sibling who is now interviewing for the 3yo program. They also have an older sibling who is in Ellie's class. Seems like a no brainer to me. That is one spot gone, one remaining.
But then I'm thinking how cool it would be if Spencer were asked to not only be in the 3yr program but also asked to return for the 4yr old program. How lucky would he/we be to be able to be in this program for his entire preschool experience!?!? I tried reigning in my big plans. After all, he first needed to be selected for the 3yr program.
The call came later in the afternoon. He wasn't selected. While that was a huge bummer, the vague reasons given didn't seem to align with what we know of our boy. Of course we stewed about it a bit. Of course we tried to blame ourselves for his lack of "readiness". What did we do wrong? Our conclusion was nothing. Why do we have apply blame? We were still struggling with the alignment of their reasoning and our gut feelings. We couldn't make them jive. Our mom instincts were raising red flags and saying no way.
Then yesterday afternoon I was at school picking up the girls from club. While I was there I was talking with some of the parents. One parent had, what appeared to be, a set of twins with her. She also has a son in Abby's class. I didn't know that she had 2 1/2 year old twins. I'm sure I've seen her with one of the younger boys before, but not both. She happened to volunteer to me that one of the boy's will qualify for services to be in the 3yr old preschool program next year and the other boy has been asked to be a peer for that class. Well, there ya go. That would be the second - of two - spots!
Now, I know nothing about these boys. Nothing at all. I was with them for all of 10-15 minutes and I'm probably mostly remembering the boy who will qualify for services more than the other boy. But, come on. Spencer isn't ready? We aren't 1st time parents. We've been through this before. Carie and I both think that Spencer is far more ready and far more fits the personality that they are looking for in a peer model than Abby & Ellie ever were. That isn't to say that they didn't do great. But now we are (a bit) wiser.
I was livid, to say the least. Why even go through the motions? And most of all, why not be honest with us? It is totally possible that they feel he "isn't ready". It is entirely possible that the two that were selected are more qualified than Spencer. Entirely possible. It could be that they just feel that the two other kids would be the best fit for their class next year. I can accept that.
But with all of this other information at hand I'm have a really hard time trusting them. Why not just be honest? I'm sure there are many other PC statements that they could use that wouldn't indicate that a child is lacking in some area.
I called the coordinator this morning. I wasn't as clear and confident as I would have liked to have been. She didn't even have the information from the schools yet. I'm not even sure she has any involvement or input in the process. But our information is now being forwarded to the individuals I want it to be forwarded to.
If we do choose to apply for next year, as we were encouraged to do, I think it is possible that we'll consider requesting a specific school. We had an awesome experience with those teachers and after talking with our current K teachers, those preschool teachers are highly praised. And I know that we can trust them.
Labels: The Boy
posted by Sonya at 9:16 AM
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