Reassuring Observation
This weekend is a family weekend for us. Time to regroup, reconnect, and relax. It also happens to be a beautiful weekend in the weather department. So... we were off to the zoo this afternoon after Spencer had graced us with an awesome nap. We enjoyed the sun, fresh air, and the antics of the Gorilla's.
With the timing of it all we decided that we would also plan on going out for dinner. It wasn't any special dinner. It wasn't fast food, the food was delicious, and the price was right. But that wasn't the best part about it all. As we are eating our meal Ellie continues to be distracted by things outside of our table. Somehow she was managing to eat an excellent dinner, but she didn't seem to be "with" us.
Then all of a sudden Ellie leaned over to tell me "that girl has two dads". Unfortunately my back was to them, though I did try and catch a look. We weren't able to tell what the family dynamic was, though there was a good chance that Ellie had nailed it. But what really amazes and excites me is that regardless of whether or not they were a family unit, Ellie is thinking in that mindset.
Sure, she knows she has two moms. She knows she does not have a dad. She knows that the majority of her friends have a mom and a dad. She/they are okay with all that. I don't feel like they are "missing" anything and they don't appear to be either. But it isn't something that they care to or seem to need to talk about. It just seems so matter of fact to them. While this is great, I do have the occasional concerns that we aren't "preparing" them for whatever unknown situations are going to come their way. We are open and honest with folks that approach us with questions, which isn't really often. We talk about it if they bring it up, but that seems to never happen. We've casually brought it up in conversations before, only for that conversation to die before it even gets off the ground. So I've been left with these occasional feelings and concerns that they are unprepared. While I'm sure these feelings and concerns won't completely go away, tonight’s observations and the excitement she had when making the observation will go a long way.
With the timing of it all we decided that we would also plan on going out for dinner. It wasn't any special dinner. It wasn't fast food, the food was delicious, and the price was right. But that wasn't the best part about it all. As we are eating our meal Ellie continues to be distracted by things outside of our table. Somehow she was managing to eat an excellent dinner, but she didn't seem to be "with" us.
Then all of a sudden Ellie leaned over to tell me "that girl has two dads". Unfortunately my back was to them, though I did try and catch a look. We weren't able to tell what the family dynamic was, though there was a good chance that Ellie had nailed it. But what really amazes and excites me is that regardless of whether or not they were a family unit, Ellie is thinking in that mindset.
Sure, she knows she has two moms. She knows she does not have a dad. She knows that the majority of her friends have a mom and a dad. She/they are okay with all that. I don't feel like they are "missing" anything and they don't appear to be either. But it isn't something that they care to or seem to need to talk about. It just seems so matter of fact to them. While this is great, I do have the occasional concerns that we aren't "preparing" them for whatever unknown situations are going to come their way. We are open and honest with folks that approach us with questions, which isn't really often. We talk about it if they bring it up, but that seems to never happen. We've casually brought it up in conversations before, only for that conversation to die before it even gets off the ground. So I've been left with these occasional feelings and concerns that they are unprepared. While I'm sure these feelings and concerns won't completely go away, tonight’s observations and the excitement she had when making the observation will go a long way.
Labels: Family
posted by Sonya at 10:05 PM
1 Comments:
It's so hard to know what to do. You want the kids to be prepared and yet you don't want to make an issue of their family situations. I've read some books with Brendan about different families and specifically about families like ours. On occasion when he's said something like "I don't have a dad" I'll affirm what he says and see if the conversation leads anywhere, but most of the time if I try to lead the conversation he has no interest. But I love that Ellie was able to key in on the other family and to just make a matter of fact statement about it.
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