Personalities

Obviously each of our kids has their own identity and personality. We are reminded of this daily by how they act and react to situations. It is vitally important to us to foster their individuality... while maintaining a healthy sibling bond.

An obvious and most recent example came yesterday. Carie was directed (based on her request) towards some resources for home schooling families. No, we don't plan to home school. But by virtue of being a parent to school aged children, we find it helpful to be armed with some information to support and guide them. Basically we are simply trying to get a good gauge on Abby & Ellie's reading levels so we have a better idea of what level of books we should be directing them towards. We know that they are at different levels, this isn't anything new and it is quite okay.

So Carie looks into this resource and finds this guide or test (per se) to help make the assessment. She sat with each of the girls independently and they worked through the page. To us, this "assessment" seemed a bit too simplistic. Obviously it didn't take into consideration comprehension or spelling, just at what level they were able to read the words. But even the words at the lower levels seemed quite simplistic. Still, it was a place to start and more than we had the day before.

They both did a great job and were "successful". The variance in their scores wasn't at all surprising. More importantly, we aren't really concerned about the actual scores except to use them as a means to provide the level of guidance and instruction in line with where they are at.

But once again, their personalities shone through.

Once "done" with the test...

Abby felt challenged and wanted to continue. There were additional levels and more words to decode, and using the reading skills she has she was determined to do it... all.

Ellie also made excellent progress. But as anticipated, she became frustrated with the exercise when she got to an uncomfortable place. She's good as long as she is confident in herself. But if she has any uncertainty, she shuts down and puts up her walls. The frustrating thing (from our view) is that she can do it; she just doesn't think she can. And in that moment, that doesn't seem to be the most helpful time to remind her just how good she is. She is more open to feedback when she isn't in that moment of frustration. The other thing is that she isn't at the same level as Abby is, but the level she IS at is awesome. So she is unfairly comparing herself and doesn't know any different.

And that is what we really care about... how they are doing individually, not compared to each other and not compared to their peers.

But how to get Ellie to embrace her abilities, feel great about what she can do, and know that she is capable of doing great things seems to escape us. Or at least what we are doing doesn't seem to yield the outcome we hope for.

This clearly will continue to be our homework as they (soon) enter 1st grade.