That Conversation
Saturday morning as we were figuring out the whole soccer thing and meeting the other parents, we found ourselves having an unexpected conversation with another mom.
Now, going into this we didn't know anyone. We hadn't even seen a team roster yet! All we really knew was that our girls were the newbie’s to the team and when and where to be for their first game.
One thing we did assume was that we'd be the only 2-mom family on our team. I mean really, odds were in our favor!
So like I said, we showed up, got settled, and did the parental thing.
One of the moms in particular was very welcoming, which was awesome. Neither Carie nor I are really all that outgoing, so it was nice that this parent in particular was very outreaching to us. Obviously she had a daughter playing soccer and she had another daughter on her lap. Sitting next to her was another chair, but no parent.
Not long after introductions, which went swimmingly, she mentioned something about asking a personal question. She then mentioned that she sees Dr So and So and wondered if we knew him and wondered who we went to. Why yes, we know Dr So and So. However, we went to Dr This and That. Now, all along we are talking about Reproductive Endocrinologists. We of course knew who she was referring to and she immediately knew who we were talking about. They are the big names in town. We, alternately as someone was constantly on the move with Mr. Spencer, continued to have nice conversations with this parent.
But at first, I think we were both perplexed as to who the second parent was. Surely it couldn't have been another mom. I mean really, odds are really not in our favor. After a bit of time, we finally figured out that it was the Dad who stepped into the coaching role for the morning. But I think Carie and I glanced at each other a few times as we both tried to figure out this puzzle.
I'm sure we both appeared surprised or shocked by the approach of the conversation. It was really an okay conversation, just took us off guard a bit. Never before has a complete stranger lead with, "so what RE did you use?" I mean, we skipped right over the whole 2-mom "issue". No questions about where their Dad was. We skipped right over the "whose the mom" question. She went straight to the (accurate) assumption that these children were ours and we birthed them.
Now by then she had seen the roster, the roster that listed both of our girls’ full names. Their last names that are derived from both of our last names. The roster that listed, in the parent columns, our complete information as well. So, with an open mind, it probably wasn't all that difficult to figure out. Even so, the open mindedness is often a breath of fresh air.
Her personal life experiences most definitely affected her frame of mind as well. Also, maybe the fact that Ellie looks like Carie's clone gave her some indication? But again, so many people overlook those eerie characteristics.
Before taking this leap into parenthood, we had many conversations about what last name our children would have. While we didn't want to "burden" them with a hyphenated last name, we did want to send a clear signal, on paper (legal documents that would be frequently utilized in medical and dental offices, schools, and now sporting associations) that we - the two of us - are their parents. In this deep red state that we live in, that is about all we can do.
I'm positive we've benefited from this in other circumstances. If this is another example of that, cool!
Now, going into this we didn't know anyone. We hadn't even seen a team roster yet! All we really knew was that our girls were the newbie’s to the team and when and where to be for their first game.
One thing we did assume was that we'd be the only 2-mom family on our team. I mean really, odds were in our favor!
So like I said, we showed up, got settled, and did the parental thing.
One of the moms in particular was very welcoming, which was awesome. Neither Carie nor I are really all that outgoing, so it was nice that this parent in particular was very outreaching to us. Obviously she had a daughter playing soccer and she had another daughter on her lap. Sitting next to her was another chair, but no parent.
Not long after introductions, which went swimmingly, she mentioned something about asking a personal question. She then mentioned that she sees Dr So and So and wondered if we knew him and wondered who we went to. Why yes, we know Dr So and So. However, we went to Dr This and That. Now, all along we are talking about Reproductive Endocrinologists. We of course knew who she was referring to and she immediately knew who we were talking about. They are the big names in town. We, alternately as someone was constantly on the move with Mr. Spencer, continued to have nice conversations with this parent.
But at first, I think we were both perplexed as to who the second parent was. Surely it couldn't have been another mom. I mean really, odds are really not in our favor. After a bit of time, we finally figured out that it was the Dad who stepped into the coaching role for the morning. But I think Carie and I glanced at each other a few times as we both tried to figure out this puzzle.
I'm sure we both appeared surprised or shocked by the approach of the conversation. It was really an okay conversation, just took us off guard a bit. Never before has a complete stranger lead with, "so what RE did you use?" I mean, we skipped right over the whole 2-mom "issue". No questions about where their Dad was. We skipped right over the "whose the mom" question. She went straight to the (accurate) assumption that these children were ours and we birthed them.
Now by then she had seen the roster, the roster that listed both of our girls’ full names. Their last names that are derived from both of our last names. The roster that listed, in the parent columns, our complete information as well. So, with an open mind, it probably wasn't all that difficult to figure out. Even so, the open mindedness is often a breath of fresh air.
Her personal life experiences most definitely affected her frame of mind as well. Also, maybe the fact that Ellie looks like Carie's clone gave her some indication? But again, so many people overlook those eerie characteristics.
Before taking this leap into parenthood, we had many conversations about what last name our children would have. While we didn't want to "burden" them with a hyphenated last name, we did want to send a clear signal, on paper (legal documents that would be frequently utilized in medical and dental offices, schools, and now sporting associations) that we - the two of us - are their parents. In this deep red state that we live in, that is about all we can do.
I'm positive we've benefited from this in other circumstances. If this is another example of that, cool!
Labels: Family
posted by Sonya at 11:42 PM
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